


trying to maintain composure (let’s pretend you’re only just a friend)

by Compulsory



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Heartbeats, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Mutual Pining, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Sharing a Bed, build a bear workshop but for pillows, kara is a dumbass and lena is an even bigger dumbass, they are so stupid, this time lena is obsessed with karas heartbeat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Compulsory/pseuds/Compulsory
Summary: “While we wait, is it alright if I ask who’s heart you got here?”“Oh. Um. Yeah. It’s my…..girlfriends” Lena lied“Aww, that’s so sweet.”“Yeah. The sound of her heart really helps me sleep.” Lena said with a smileorLena secretly buys a pillow that mimics the beat of Kara’s heart.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Querl Dox/Nia Nal
Comments: 15
Kudos: 581





	trying to maintain composure (let’s pretend you’re only just a friend)

“It’s just a fucking pillow. Why are you so nervous?” Lena muttered to herself as she walked into the store. There was at least a week's worth of planning leading up to the pillow’s purchase, she wasn't going to ditch now. Lena looked around the store, it was similarly laid out to Build A Bear Workshop. You had a station for filling, a station for decoration, and a station for the heart. 

They called them Huggable Hearts. Pillows that were able to mimic the beat of someone's heart. You could choose and design your pillow and then decide on a generic heartbeat or the heartbeat of someone special. She chose Kara.  
  


For sleep reasons. _Not_ because she was in love with her best friend. She just found if she fell asleep next to Kara during a movie or a sleepover she just slept better. So here she was, buying a pillow with Kara’s heartbeat in it. 

It had taken a while to plan. She couldn't just ask Kara for a recording of her heart so she had to find a way to do it in secret and get it to sound well. Lena ended up building a recorder she could slip in her ear. It was designed similarly to wireless headphones, but it was much smaller. She could control the recording from her phone so she could get just the right part. Last week Lena had put the earpiece in and went to movie night with Kara. She made sure to rest her head on Kara’s chest as they watched in order to get the best sound. When Kara was distracted by the movie she slipped her hand into her pocket and recorded a minute or two of Kara’s heartbeat. 

“Ma’am. Do you need any help?” A store worker asked.

“Actually, yes. Could you direct me to the heartbeat station?” 

“Of course.” 

Lena had already chosen her pillow. She wanted something bland and unsuspecting but could still remind her of Kara. So she went with the navy blue pillow. 

“The gentleman right over there can help you with the heartbeat.” The worker said as he pointed to a young man across the store. 

“Thank you” 

Lena looked at the other customers in the store. There were all sorts of people. Some seemed to be choosing pillows that reminded them of lost ones, couples were exchanging heartbeats and buying pillows for each other, and some were families enjoying the experience. Everyone seemed to have someone. Lena was just stealing her not crushes heartbeat. _Was that an invasion of privacy??_ Lena thought _Oh, God. It was totally an invasion of privacy._

Lena, lost in thought, had failed to recognize she had been standing in line to have the heartbeat placed in. 

“We’re ready for you,” The worker in front of her said. 

“Oh! Thank you. I have a heartbeat audio.” 

“Perfect. So I’m just going to take the audio and upload it to our computers here and the rest is Huggable Heart magic!” 

“Perfect. Thank you.”

Lena handed the drive with the recording on it to the worker. There was about one minute of download time. 

“While we wait, is it alright if I ask who’s heart you got here?” 

“Oh. Um. Yeah. It’s my…..girlfriends” Lena lied 

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

“Yeah. The sound of her heart really helps me sleep.” Lena said with a smile

“Oh. I bet. It probably calms you down.”

“Definitely.” 

“Here we go! Heartbeat is officially downloaded. It’ll be just a second while I get everything together.” 

“Alright.” 

A few minutes later the worker returned with her pillow. 

“You’re all set. To get it to work just press your head against it and you should feel the light thump of the pillow and the sound of your girlfriend’s heartbeat.”

“Thank you so much!” Lena said before walking to checkout and then out of the store.

A few hours later Lena arrived at her apartment. Her shopping bags were already in her apartment. She quickly made her way to the pillow, pulled it out of its bag, and carried it with her to the couch. Having a secret pillow of your best friend's heartbeat was risky, but when your best friend was a Kryptonian who would most definitely be able to recognize the beat of her own heart, it was riskier. Lena had calculated that there was a 25% chance that Kara would find out she had the pillow. Most movie nights were at Kara’s house and the pillow was activated by pressure. It would take an interesting scenario for Kara to find and press the pillow. The risk was worth falling asleep to the beat of Kara’s heart. 

  
  


***

Kara wasn't quite sure how it happened. Okay, maybe Kara knew exactly how it happened; she just couldn't tell anyone. She was thinking about Lena in a not best friend way and then walked into her bed and cracked it in half. Lena always made her slightly lose control of her powers. Sure Kara had ripped her sheets one or two times thinking about Lena, but her _bed_? Kara would need to stay somewhere else tonight. 

“Lena!” Kara said over the phone. 

“I’m sorry to intrude but do you think I could stay over? I. Um. I cracked my bed.” Kara said with a wince. 

Kara heard a loud laugh from the other end of the phone. 

“Yes, Kara. Of course, you can stay over.” 

“Thank you so much! I’ll be over soon.” 

“No problem. I'll see you then.” 

Kara quickly packed a few things for the night and then flew to Lena’s apartment. She knocked on the door, and Lena opened it quickly. 

“Kara!” She said as she wrapped her in a hug. 

“You have to tell me what happened to your bed.” 

“Oh. I just tripped and it cracked in half.” Kara chuckled dryly. 

“I’m surprised it hasn't happened before.”

“Oh me too, and thank you again for letting me stay.” 

“Well, what are friends for?” Lena said with a smile

Kara and Lena had a sleepover routine. They would watch a movie, order a shit ton of food, and then talk until they fell asleep. Kara would usually wait until Lena was asleep before moving them both to her bed. Knowing this Lena made sure to move the heartbeat pillow to an unsuspecting spot. 

“So! What should we watch?” Lena asked 

“Oh..I’ve kinda been having a rough night and i'm not in the best mood for a movie. Is it alright if we just cuddle and talk?”

“Yes of course, Kara. I’ll go grab some blankets and we can snuggle on the couch.” Lena said with a smile.

“Perfect.”

Lena returned with an armful of blankets and set them on the couch. 

“Lena! You have so many blankets! Rao. Could we. Um. Could we make a blanket fort?” Kara said shyly 

“I never thought you’d ask.” 

“This is why we’re perfect for each other.” Kara said 

Kara heard Lena inhale sharply. _Shit._ _That was not supposed to slip out._ There was no other way to read that as romantic, but she was going to have to cover it up. 

“You know as friends. You’re the perfect best friend.” Kara struggled to get out. 

Kara thought she saw the light in Lena’s eyes dim a little but she didn’t want to overthink. 

“So fort?” Kara asked, desperately trying to move on.

“Yes! I’ll get the pad and paper.”

Kara giggled.

“You know you don't need to do math to make a fort?”

“Yes I do! It will come out perfectly if I do the math. You want the fort to be perfect. Don't you?” 

“Ugh. Yes. Go ahead and do all the math. I’ll get the pillows.” 

Lena’s breath caught. She’d hidden the pillow. It would be okay. 

A few minutes later Kara arrived with a handful of pillows in her arms. The heartbeat pillow on top, no pressure being put on it. _X-ray vision_ Lena thought. Lena’s heart rate accelerated in panic and she watched as Kara perked up noticing the change in rhythm. After a few deep breaths she watched Kara go back to organizing the pillows. 

Lena was close to done, it had only taken a few minutes of calculations and she was able to find the best way to make the fort. Suddenly she heard a muffled shout. 

“Lenaaa. Help me.” Kara said with a pout 

Lena laughed. Kara was drowned in a sea of blankets. Her arms and legs tied up in them making it impossible to move. 

“I’m coming. I’m coming,” Lena shouted to Kara 

Lena made her way to Kara and started pulling blankets off her. Untangling them from around her ankles and then her arms. 

“How’d you even get into this mess?” 

“You were just taking so long with all that math...I thought I could get a head start.” Kara said with a sheepish smile. 

“Well I’m almost done. You can wait five minutes for me can’t you?” 

“Yes.” Kara said with a pout 

Lena started to walk back to her desk when suddenly a pillow hit her from behind.

“Wait. Help me up? Please?” Kara whined

“Anything for the _girl of steel.”_ Lena laughed 

Lena turned around and grabbed Kara’s forearm. She started to pull Kara up from the ground but Kara pulled her towards the ground instead. Lena hit the pile of pillows and blankets, her head inches from the heartbeat pillow. 

“Hey!” 

Kara chuckled before responding. 

“I didn’t want you to leave me.” Kara said softly

“I won't leave you, Kara. Ever.” 

Lena quickly tossed the heartbeat pillow to the side and moved closer to Kara. She pulled some blankets with her and they snuggled under them with their backs resting against the couch behind them. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s stomach and rested her head on Kara’s chest. 

Lena released tension she didn’t know she had as the light thump of Kara’s heart echoed in her head. They sat in silence for a while just resting in each other's presence. 

“I love you.” Kara said softly

Lena held her breath for a moment. They had exchanged I love you’s before but Kara sounded different this time. Her breath was a little shaky as the words rolled off her lips. Lena listened as her heart skipped a beat when the words came out. 

No. 

Lena was just reading into things. Why would Kara love _her?_ It was the pillow’s fault. She had spent so much time listening to Kara’s heartbeat on the pillow she deluded herself into thinking that Kara felt the same way about her. 

“I love you too. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend.” Lena said 

“Yeah.” Kara said with a light sigh 

They fell back into their silence and Lena drifted off to the sound of Kara’s heart and the warmth of Kara against her. 

\--

Lena’s eyes snapped open when Kara placed her in bed. Normally she never noticed when Kara moved her, but Kara’s bed was always so warm. The cold from Lena’s bed shocked her awake. Kara slipped in the bed next to her and then scooted so she was close to Lena, but not so close she was pressed against her. Lena listened as Kara quickly fell asleep. 

Lena wished more than anything she had her heartbeat pillow with her. Kara was too far away for Lena to hear her heart, and every time Kara moved she felt a light brush of Kara’s skin against hers. Every touch felt like it was taunting her, she just wanted Kara to hold her. 

Lena’s thoughts led to and increased heart rate and Kara blinked awake. Kara lightly tapped Lena. 

“Lena. Lena are you okay?” she whispered 

Lena turned around and faced Kara. They were sharing a breath as they looked into each other’s eyes. Suddenly Lena looked away from Kara. 

“Can you. Um.” Lena stuttered. It was harder to say out loud. 

Kara didn’t need more than a half sentence. 

“Of course.” 

Kara moved forward and wrapped Lena in her arms. Lena placed her head on Kara’s chest again and was finally able to sleep with the light thumping of Kara’s heart in her ear.

\--

Lena woke up to a cold bed. Kara had moved them to the bed as usual, but was nowhere to be found. Lena stretched and slipped out of bed. She walked out of her bedroom and found Kara in her kitchen. Lena smiled at how domestic it looked. Kara was blasting music out of her headphones, humming along, and dancing, as she cooked breakfast. 

Lena wished she could sneak up behind Kara and wrap her arms around Kara’s waist before kissing her neck. Instead she just walked into Kara’s line of view. 

“Hey.” She said 

“Lena! Good morning! How did you sleep?” Kara asked as she pulled her headphones out of her ear. 

_Amazing after you wrapped me in your strong arms to help me fall asleep._ Lena thought. 

“Well! And you?” she said instead. 

“Fantastic! Lena, your bed is so comfy I can’t believe we don’t do sleepovers here more often.” 

“We can start a system! Rotate apartments every month or so? I can-” Lena was interrupted by Kara’s giggles. 

“I like it when you get all smart” Kara said sheepishly 

“I am not being ‘all smart’!” Lena exclaimed 

“Creating systems for who’s apartment we’re sleeping at is definitely in the nerd category. And it doesn’t matter what the definition of ‘all smart’ is I can tell because you get super excited.” 

Lena blushed

“Whatever. I guess what I was _trying_ to say was that we can stay over here more if you’d like.” 

“Okay.” Kara said with a smile. 

Kara’s phone rang breaking the moment. 

“Ah, shoot. Duty calls! Thank you again for letting me stay over! Bye!” Kara said as she started to head towards the balcony

“Bye Kara!” Lena said as she watched Kara jump off into the sky. 

\-- 

Game night rolled around shortly after their sleepover. Lena was the last to arrive at Kara’s apartment and Kara immediately ran to wrap her in a hug. 

“Lena!” Kara said before practically tackling her. 

“It’s been a while.” Kara said as she pulled out of the hug 

“It has.” Lena said with a slight frown. 

“It has _not_.” Alex shouted. 

“You literally stayed over at her house two days ago.” 

“Well two days is a long time to be away from Lena” Kara said with a pout 

Alex turned to the rest of the superfriends and made a gagging motion before turning back to Kara 

“Sure, whatever you say.” 

“Now that Lena’s here can we pleaseee eat?” Kara asked 

“Yes! I’m starving” Nia said 

Everyone got their food and gathered around in the living room. They decided to play Monopoly while they ate. 

“Why do we even play Monopoly?” Alex asked. 

“It’s always down to Lena and Brainy.” 

“Lena always wins. Brainy always wins.” Kara and Nia said in unison. 

Kara and Nia glared at each other for a moment before continuing with the game.

\--

Kara sat and stared at the Monopoly board. She was moments from going broke. She was so focused she failed to notice Lena sneakily grabbing a potsticker from Kara’s plate. Lena would’ve gotten away with it if Alex hadn’t gasped in shock. 

Kara perked her head up and spotted Lena holding her potsticker. 

“Oh no you do not.” Kara said as she lunged for the potsticker. 

Lena moved the potsticker higher into the air and backwards. Kara moved to reach it and accidentally pushed Lena to the floor. Their faces were now inches apart. Lena was still holding the potsticker above her head. Kara could get the potsticker easily now but she just stared into Lena’s eyes. The breath they shared was heavy. 

Alex lightly coughed and Lena dropped the potsticker on the ground as she was shaken back to reality. 

Kara cleared her throat as she sat up and helped Lena to a sitting position. Kara threw the potsticker away and moved back to the board. Her mind was numb from the moment and she made a stupid move, loosing the last of her property and money. 

“No fair.” Kara said with a pout 

“This is Lena’s fault for distracting me. I hope Brainy wins.” 

“Sore loser” Lena said with a smirk 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the game went as usual. Lena and Brainy were the final two remaining and everyone watched as the two battled. Suddenly Lena gained a property taking the win from Brainy. 

Everyone groaned but Kara as Lena took yet another Monopoly win. Kara just sat and stared at Lena with a dopey smile, proud of Lena for winning again. 

“Like I said I don’t even know why we play this game.” Alex said 

“Charades next week!” Kara exclaimed

“Fine, but only if you and Lena don’t pair up.” 

“Whyyy?”

“Because it’s an unfair advantage.” 

Kara frowned and looked at Alex, silently begging for Lena to be her partner. 

“No. No looking at me like that. No Lena.” Alex said.

“It’s alright, I’ll go with Kelly.” Lena said as she placed her hand on Kara’s back to calm her down. 

“Fine” Kara agreed 

Alex looked down at her watch. It was getting late now. 

“Kelly and I should probably get going. Thank you for another amazing game night, Kara.” Alex said as she started to get up.

“Yes. Thank you so much.” Brainy and Nia said in unison as they too got up. 

Kara quickly gave everyone hugs and walked them towards the door.

“Thank you for coming guys! See you next week!” Kara called out as they left her apartment.

She was just left with Lena now. 

“So. I thought I could help clean up and then maybe we could watch a movie together?” Lena said.

“Sounds perfect!” 

Lena helped Kara clean, though she didn’t do much. Superspeed helped move the process along quickly. Kara then grabbed some blankets and snuggled up next to Lena.

“Star Wars?” Kara asked

“Yeah.” Lena said as she placed her head on Kara’s chest. 

\--

The movie was almost done and Lena was almost asleep. She was tired from the work day and the wine, and being snuggled next to Kara listening to her heart put her to sleep faster than normal. The world was a little fuzzy and her eyelids were heavy. 

Suddenly her phone rang. Kara paused the movie and Lena forced her eyes open as she pulled her phone out and answered.

“Lena Luthor. Yes. I understand. I’ll be there.” 

Lena hung up the phone and turned to Kara. 

“I’m so sorry I have to go. Unfortunately, I now have a meeting at 7am and I need to be in my apartment tonight. It’s just so much closer to L-Corp. I’m sorry.”

“Lena! You can’t go. It’s late and you drank all that wine, you’re exhausted. Please stay here. I can fly you in the morning.” Kara pleaded

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” 

“Then let me fly you. Please?” 

“Alright.” 

Lena quickly gathered her things and walked towards the window. She nodded to Kara and signaled she was ready. Kara picked her up in the usual bridal carry and flew out the window with Lena in her arms. 

Lena didn’t particularly like flying, but she always felt safe in Kara’s arms. Kara was going slow and the wind only lightly passed her by. Kara was so warm and her heart was beating loudly in the air. Lena really shouldn’t have fallen asleep, but she was just _so so_ tired. She felt herself nod off in the sky. 

***

Kara gently placed Lena in her bed. She turned to walk out the door of Lena’s room when she heard a heartbeat in Lena’s room. But it wasn’t Lena’s heartbeat. Kara knew what Lena’s heartbeat sounded like, she’d memorized it, and used it to fall asleep. This was someone else's. Kara did a quick scan of Lena’s room and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, no people, no animals, the room was free of life except the two of them. 

Kara was stressed now. Whatever this was, it could be dangerous. Her heart began pounding loudly in her ears. The rhythm was familiar. 

Kara gasped quietly. The heartbeat coming from Lena’s room was her own. 

Kara looked around Lena’s room again. The pillow. Lena had a pillow with Kara’s heartbeat on it. 

Kara felt dizzy. She needed to get out of Lena’s apartment. She rushed to the balcony and jumped into the sky. The world was spinning around her as she flew so she dropped to the ground. She walked to her apartment as thoughts rushed through her mind. _Why me? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s normal to have a pillow with your best friend’s heartbeat in it. She said we were only friends. I’m reading too much into this. She doesn’t like me like that._

These thoughts raced through Kara’s mind as she walked down the street, into her apartment, and got ready for bed. She now lay staring up at the ceiling wondering why on Earth Lena had a pillow with her heartbeat in it. 

\--

Kara was exhausted at CatCo the next day. She had barely slept and thoughts of Lena were still filling her head. She just wanted to keep her head down and not think about anything. 

Kara groaned when her phone suddenly rang. She didn’t even check to see who it was.

“Kara Danvers” she said 

“Kara? Are you okay?”

“Lena!” Kara said hesitantly 

“I’m alright. I’ve just had a rough morning” Kara replied

“Oh I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop-” 

“No! It’s okay. I’m okay.” Kara rushed out.

“Alright. I’ll see you at brunch.” 

“I can’t go.” Kara blurted 

“I have...a meeting. And tonight I’m meeting with Alex. I’m sorry. I’ll see you later.” Kara lied 

“Okay…” Lena said, sounding worried. 

Kara hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. How had she gotten to the point where she was avoiding Lena. Kara ran her hands over her face as she thought. She could either tell Lena she knew about the pillow and put them both in an uncomfortable situation or not tell Lena and keep everything the same. Kara let out a small whine. If there was the slightest possibility that Lena liked her back she was going to have to ask. 

\--

Kara paced in front of Lena’s apartment door. _What am I doing?_ She thought. This conversation could ruin their friendship but she had to know. She couldn’t leave anything up to chance. 

Kara reached out and knocked on the door. Lena opened it a few moments later. 

“Kara! I thought you had plans with your sister?” 

“I..I lied.” Kara said as she looked towards the ground. 

“Can we talk?” she asked. 

Kara looked up from the ground and saw a flash of panic in Lena’s eyes. _She thinks I’m going to leave her._

“It’s nothing bad! I hope…” Kara quickly said 

“Alright.” Lena said voice slightly shaking with nervousness

Lena ushered Kara inside and they sat on the couch. Kara began fiddling with her fingers. She cleared her throat and began.

“Yesterday night when I brought you home I set you in your bed. Everything seemed fine but I heard this heartbeat and I started freaking out because I knew it wasn’t yours and there was no one else in the room so I kept looking and looking and then I realized it was _my_ heartbeat and it was coming from your pillow-” Kara was cut off 

“Kara. I- I can explain.” Lena started 

“No. Let me finish. Please?” 

“Okay.” Lena said quietly

“And well after I realized that you had my heartbeat I started thinking _why?_ because there’s no way you like me back so there has to be some other reason. And well I couldn’t figure it out. But I kept thinking maybe you do like me back. And if that was the case then I couldn’t not tell you I knew about the pillow.” 

“Like you. Back?” Lena asked

“Um. I-” Kara stuttered

“Like you. Back.” Lena said firmly

There was a moment of silence while they both struggled to find words. Lena broke the silence.

“Of course I like you back.” Lena said softly

“How could I not like you back? You’re perfect Kara.” 

Kara and Lena were now inches apart. Kara licked her lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Kara whispered.

Lena just nodded her head. 

Kara leaned forward and captured Lena’s lips in hers. Their kisses were soft and tender. Lena pulled back for air. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Kara said. 

“I think I have some idea.” Lena said with a smile 

Kara wanted more, but her body wanted sleep.

“Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night.” she said through a yawn. 

“Do you want to stay here?” Lena asked.

“Yes.” Kara said with a smile 

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena as they slept. Lena’s was head pressed against her chest as always. She wouldn’t be needing a heartbeat pillow anymore. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
